The Flying Trapeze


Sometimes, I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments, I’m hurdling across space between the trapeze bars.

Mostly, I spend my time hanging on for dear life to the trapeze bar of the moment. It carries me along a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control. I know most of the right questions, and even some of the right answers. But once in a while, as I’m merrily, or not so merrily, swinging along, I look ahead of me into the distance, and what do I see?

I see another trapeze bar looking at me. It’s empty. And I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart of hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on the present well-known bar to move to the new one.

Each time it happens, I hope—no, I pray—that I won’t have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab the new bar. Each time I do this I am filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurdles I have always made it.

Each time I am afraid I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless basin between the bars.

But I do it anyway. I must.

Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call faith. No guarantees, no net, no insurance, but we do it anyway because hanging on to that old bar is no longer an option. And so, for what seems to be an eternity but actually lasts a microsecond. I soar across the dark void called “the past is over, the future is not yet here.” It’s called a transition. I have come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and the bars are the illusions we dream up to not notice the void. Yes, with all the fear that can accompany transitions, they are still the most vibrant, growth-filled, passionate moments in our lives.

And so transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to “hang out” in the transition zone — between the trapeze bars — allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens.

It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening. Hurdling through the void, we just may learn to fly.

-excerpt from 2009 Integrative Nutrition

What could you achieve if you put fear aside?  If nothing was stopping you.

Miracles happen everyday, you need to trust and believe!

My transition happened a few times in my life.  After losing my husband in 2004 and getting laid off in 2009 after a 18 year career at Putnam Investments, I found myself in this place, this void.  I couldn’t go back, I needed to move forward but I had fear.

Right after losing my job, I started practicing yoga daily. One day during a yoga class in late February, I felt as though the teacher was talking directly to me. I felt empowered. I knew I needed to move forward towards something I felt passionate about. The thought of going back to the world of finance was very depressing. After class we talked and after telling her my story of the loss of my husband and job of 18 years she asked me two life-altering questions. “What is it that you want to do?” And then, “What is stopping you from following your dream?” It was in that moment that I knew what I needed to do. I made the decision to enroll in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to be a health coach and sign up for yoga teacher training in 2010.  These decisions lead me to starting my company, nourish your soul and in 2010 opening the first Boston cold pressed juice bar.  I believe we can all heal ourselves through diet, exercise and a healthy balanced lifestyle.  I am grateful to be on this path everyday.

Ask yourself these questions.  What do you want?  What is stopping you?

Focus on what you want.  Believe and…take flight!!!